Yesterday, Saturday 6 April 2024 was the 33rd Anniversary of the day I met my lovely partner David. It was around midnight so the next day also counts if one wants to be precise.

We’ve given this day as our Anniversary because after all this time we cannot get married.

I can already hear the chorus chanting at me. But, today anyone can marry provided they are an adult and are not already married. We are, after all, living in ‘enlightened’ times in the UK following the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013.

Not true. Same sex marriage does not equate to equal marriage and it angers me when this discriminatory act is referenced in terms of “equal” marriage. The 2013 legislation allows two people of the same sex to marry, with the proviso the parties are documented as either male or female. There is no provision in the act, nor in any legislation on the UK’s statute books, for identity other than male and female. Therefore I cannot marry my partner without the unacceptable compromise that we both declare the gender assigned at birth that remains on all of our government issued documentation. The wording of the discriminatory Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 is gendered and designed to exclude anyone outside the permitted categories male and female.

So, despite our relationship being long-term and stable, David and I cannot marry without declaring inappropriate and rejected gendered roles.

In the 30+ years I’ve worked to raise awareness of NON-GENDERED IDENTITY I’ve watched as other countries have awoken to the fact that male and female are not all encompassing and have made provision for their citizens to live their lives as their true selves. Sadly, for me and many others in the same predicament, the UK has failed to progress in step with this growing international trend.

I’ve accepted that we will probably never be able to get our relationship officially recognised either through marriage or civil partnership in the UK within our lifetime and now looking at options in other countries as we plan to leave the UK as soon as possible after David retires.

I’ve fought to get an X PASSPORT initially through engagement with the relevant authorities, securing support from Members of Parliament across the spectrum, and liaising extensively with government. All to no avail. With the invaluable assistance of an amazing legal team, I’ve taken the fight all the way to the top of the UK’s judicial system where I was badly failed after the UK Supreme Court handed down an appalling judgement that I’m certain will serve to embarrass the profession in future years. I’ve waited almost two years for the European Court of Human Rights to decide the admissibility of the Claim lodged with it in June 2022.

After 33 years, still waiting for justice. Still waiting for a better government. Waiting to move to a better country. Don’t want to die waiting.

No one has the right to determine their ‘rights’ are more important than mine. Legitimate identity is a fundamental right. Without legitimate identity there ARE no civil rights.

David and me are determined to marry and the date of our marriage union will be 6 April in an undetermined future year and in an undetermined country. Would be perfect if our marriage could be set to take place around midnight.